yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
