My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
