Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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