what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
