Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
