I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize