so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
