Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
