One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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