she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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