well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
