can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
