And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
