I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
