I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
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we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
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i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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