picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
