dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Randomize
