Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize