I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
