I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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