Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
