Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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