That's when you crack a 10am beer
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
