I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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