She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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