yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
