Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
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we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
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I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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