there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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