Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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