i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
