now i know why i became what i already was.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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