a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
