I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize