I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
