oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
