Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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