I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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