I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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