thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
so much tequila, so little girl.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Oh god it's open bar.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize