where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I could fuck to npr.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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