So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
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he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
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i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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