they need to just BURY HIM!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
