Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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