And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
