im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
