try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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