wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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