god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
