i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
