we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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