super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
