we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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