she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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