I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.