Texts From Last Night

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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket

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  (321): you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket http://tfl.nu/cdhn
  Replies (39) Good night (2944) Bad night (940)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack

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  (540): then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack http://tfl.nu/52qh
  Replies (14) Good night (1592) Bad night (3290)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"

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  (774): all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you" http://tfl.nu/p8m9
  Replies (19) Good night (2248) Bad night (5908)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain

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  (905): heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain http://tfl.nu/cvqd
  Replies (24) Good night (1204) Bad night (3625)
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  (646): View more from New York

  They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!

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  (646): They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?! http://tfl.nu/7uj0
  Replies (10) Good night (6887) Bad night (1124)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.

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  (443): I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval. http://tfl.nu/2acf
  Replies (16) Good night (6561) Bad night (1100)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.

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  (240): I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop. http://tfl.nu/iw16
  Replies (20) Good night (3762) Bad night (1517)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"

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  (219): U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus" http://tfl.nu/8y4p
  Replies (12) Good night (3928) Bad night (904)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....

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  (303): The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING.... http://tfl.nu/av21
  Replies (7) Good night (1987) Bad night (508)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"

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  (614): Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10" http://tfl.nu/nudo
  Replies (6) Good night (1329) Bad night (710)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right

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  (207): So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right http://tfl.nu/bi9y
  Replies (7) Good night (1424) Bad night (455)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.

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  (913): Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth. http://tfl.nu/51lq
  Replies (3) Good night (610) Bad night (402)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?

  (512): View more from Texas

  It was just one of those nights, man.

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  (512): I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something. (1-512): Why was his mouth around your nose anyways? (512): It was just one of those nights, man. http://tfl.nu/4s6y
  Replies (2) Good night (430) Bad night (669)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone

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  (443): Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone http://tfl.nu/3q0e
  Replies (0) Good night (433) Bad night (272)
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  (916): View more from California

  When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!

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  (916): When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!! http://tfl.nu/tjy9
  Replies (3) Good night (458) Bad night (310)

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