Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.

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(312): View more from Illinois

i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament

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(561): View more from Florida

The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(407): View more from Florida

She even gives head with a lisp.

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(510): View more from California

I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.

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(212): View more from New York

You tried paying your tab with the coaster

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night

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