Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night

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  (847): He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night http://tfl.nu/syca
  Replies (11) Good night (956) Bad night (3995)
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  (209): View more from California

  Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.

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  (209): Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future. http://tfl.nu/yuzg
  Replies (19) Good night (6612) Bad night (1041)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I gave up sex for lent.

  (646): View more from New York

  I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.

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  (678): I gave up sex for lent. (646): I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter. http://tfl.nu/87gp
  Replies (18) Good night (1245) Bad night (4555)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'

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  (484): I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock' http://tfl.nu/bqqm
  Replies (12) Good night (4872) Bad night (989)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"

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  (419): I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion" http://tfl.nu/b5an
  Replies (11) Good night (7211) Bad night (1173)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick

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  (304): when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick http://tfl.nu/j5fw
  Replies (22) Good night (5708) Bad night (1193)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.

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  (860): He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days. http://tfl.nu/v2o4
  Replies (18) Good night (5527) Bad night (1119)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.

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  (978): My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me. http://tfl.nu/a4fn
  Replies (6) Good night (2507) Bad night (700)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.

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  (269): Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward. http://tfl.nu/yk34
  Replies (12) Good night (1580) Bad night (1212)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.

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  (913): My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/pa6u
  Replies (6) Good night (787) Bad night (1904)
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  (408): View more from California

  We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.

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  (408): We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell. http://tfl.nu/gwk2
  Replies (6) Good night (1419) Bad night (484)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.

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  (208): When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls. http://tfl.nu/qm6d
  Replies (0) Good night (933) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.

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  (920): Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms. http://tfl.nu/5i1h
  Replies (7) Good night (902) Bad night (454)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.

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  (989): You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem. http://tfl.nu/ijrf
  Replies (1) Good night (692) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.

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  (215): i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through. http://tfl.nu/i9fy
  Replies (1) Good night (1123) Bad night (349)

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