dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES