Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
