a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
