Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize